POWER: who has it, how we get it, and why we need to share it

knowing your power

is what creates

humility.

not knowing your power

is what creates

insecurity

-nayyirah.waheed

One of the most influential books I’ve read in the past five years is Sand Talk from Tyson Yunkaporta. Early in the book, Yunkaporta shares a graphic of two hands. One hand has the fingers held all together, with no spaces in between each finger, and all fingers pointing to the left (representing a page with words, knowledge). The second hand has its fingers pointing up, with each finger splayed away from the others, creating space in between each finger (representing oral culture, knowledge).

Yunkaporta shared that the context of what you know innately and internally is demonstrated by the splayed hands. It creates the lens or perspective of everything that you consume or absorb. Humor me, and replicate that example with your own hands. Imagine that the hand representing the page with words is something you regularly consume. And your hand with splayed fingers is your own culture, your family origin, your lived experience. Knowing that we each have a different perspective based on our splayed fingers, even if we are all “reading” from the same words on the proverbial page, helps me deeply understand my personal power.

He goes on to discuss his view on power and system change:

“Making yourself an expert in another culture is not always appreciated by the members of that culture. Understanding your OWN culture and the way it interacts with others, particularly the power dynamics of it, is far more appreciated. (understanding my male privilege and controlling its excesses, more than being an expert on women’s literature or issues).

It is difficult to relinquish the illusions of power and delusions of exceptionalism that come with privilege. But it is strangely liberating to realize your TRUE status as a single node in a cooperative network.

Your role is that of an agent of sustainability in a complex system. You can never lose your individuality or be swallowed up by hive mind, you will retain your autonomy while simultaneously being profoundly independent and connected.”

— Tyson Yunkaporta

Merriam-Webster defines power (noun) in multiple ways

1) : ability to act or produce an effect

2) : possession of control, authority, or influence over others

3) : physical might, mental or moral efficacy

4) : the number of times as indicated by an exponent that a number occurs as a factor in a product

5) : a source or means of supplying energy

To me, power is the capacity/ ability to direct/ influence the behavior of others or the course of events. Some common misconceptions of power:

“I don’t have power – that’s for someone else (boss, CEO, etc.)”
“Power is a Yes/No thing, either you have it or you don’t”

Most experts use the work of social psychologists John French and Bertram Raven from the late 1950s and early 1960s. They coined these six types of power, with the context added of how this power is typically experienced:

Formal Power = ability to influence by authority
Reward Power = ability to influence by reward
Coercive Power = ability to influence by threatening punishment
Expert Power = ability to influence by possessing valuable expertise
Informational Power = ability to influence by possessing vital information (situational)
Referent Power = ability to influence by possessing charisma

Positional Power (often traditional in form and nature) – includes formal, reward, and coercive power

Personal Power – includes expert, informational, and referent power

“I’m not interested in “convincing” people, who have no motivation and little interest in sharing power, to do so - I am much more interested in contending for power.” Jodie Tonita, Emergent Strategy

In 2023, I participated in a workshop called Ethical Uses of Power, delivered by Lumos. During the three hour workshop, I took loads and loads of notes, and I’ve decided to share just a few things here, along with learnings and lessons from other sources - all on the topic of power.

While power is an action, a capacity, and an ability to influence, power is neutral. As individuals, based on our identities, hierarchy, assignments, and other unique power dynamics, we then are the reason that power has meaning BEYOND its neutral position.

Everyone has some type of power, and it’s both important to realize and recognize that, and to assess your power inside of the context of your life and lived experience. Scroll back up to those six types of power, which of the types resonate and are applicable for you?

A hand drawn map on lined paper, with circles and squares that - in part - contain the text from the bullet points below. — *A hand drawn map on lined paper, with circles and squares that - in part - contain the text from the bullet points below*

During the workshop with Lumos, participants created individual personal power maps to demonstrate where our power comes from. If you were to draw your own, what would you fill into the following sections?

Experiences - I’m the oldest daughter of four, with a lot of addresses in my life but with maintained stability - for the most part
Support - I have an incredible support system in my husband, with peers (both formal/professional, and in my personal life with friendships); While my husband and I were both raised at or just above the poverty line, we have been able to live comfortably with income that supports our household consistently without worry
Knowledge - While I don’t have formal education that is recognized by a Board of Education, I have an immense amount of collected and experienced knowledge and expertise. This awareness was important as I’ve long been minimizing my power in this area by diluting my homeschool experience and lack of a college degree
Ancestors - My father is Black (unsure of ethnicity but Ancestry says Southern Bantu / Benin) and my mother is white (Danish and German). My early childhood was influenced by both sides of the family, however my teen years and early adult life was white adjacent (primary caregiving parent, proximity to family, surrounded through church and homeschool community)

“To assert one’s own power in a way that promotes mutuality, one must know the type of power one seeks. There are two fundamental types of power: one is the ability to dominate, or control, people and things. An alternative type of power is liberatory power - the ability to create what we want. Liberatory power requires the transformation of what one currently perceives as a limitation.”

— The Power Manual: how to master complex power dynamics, Cyndi Suarez

During another segment of the workshop, we were given time to reflect on our experience with having power (and/or using it) vs. not having power. My answers?

Having Power / Using Power

feelings of being emboldened, courage ramped up, and also terrifying
there’s an accountability, a requirement, an expectation
aware of my own acts of preservation inside of my power (and where I hoard it, and then abandon others)

Not Having Power

feelings of exclusion, frustration, and anger
knowing that I’ve been stripped of control
often comes with an activation of bad habits / behaviors
abandoned

“I think we’ve promised ourselves that when we get to the powerful place, or when we get to use our voice, it’s going to be a moment where we open our mouths and the angels will sing. I think we have to start saying to ourselves this is going to suck, and it’s going to feel scary, and our hands are going to be shaking the whole time, and we have to do it anyway.”

— Naomi Hattaway

Internal Reflection:

How do you feel about power?
How do you interact with power?
How does power show up in your teams and inside of your projects?

For more internal reflection, consider these impactful and important questions from Brittany Packnett, created for her Harvard presentation, All Power to the People:

Personal Power

what social privileges do you have?
- are you hoarding them or spending them?
to whom are you accountable?
what do you want to be true in the world because you are here?
are you changing the world by yourself or in community?
are you concerned with credit or change?

Positional Power

what privilege can you spend due to your position?
- are you preserving your position at the cost of the work?
- are you more concerned with preserving position out of ego or out of impact?
plan backward: what change do you seek?
- who has the power to make the change?
- what will make them enact the change/?
- what can you do and who can you collaborate with to push them to act?

“The key to leading effectively is knowing the things that make up your environment and then helping to arrange them so that their power becomes available.” -Sun Tzu, The Art of War

What Now?

I believe it is imperative that we replace the fallacy of “empowerment” with the reality of “quiet power.”

I also believe it is beyond time that we each be accountable to ourselves and others when it comes to using our power. We all have it. Let’s use it.

While the topic of empowerment is a whole ‘nother article topic, I do think it’s relevant to discuss here as I close this article. In the workplace, leaders by title often prioritizing “empowering” those around us, because it seems amazing at first. And the heart and intention behind it surely is. However, usually when we ‘empower’ others, we are simply trying to bestow “loud power” on others, or minimize the power they already possess?

My work with Leaving Well and organizational health helps activate the quiet power of teams, resulting in a major impact on the environment/culture when it comes to workplace transitions and the reality that people leave. Everyone can play a part in creating a healthy workplace transition culture, no matter the job title or level of assumed power they may hold.