Entelechy: 2022 Review and a Wish for 2023
My guiding word for 2022 was Cultivate. The most specific example where it showed up was being very particular about which relationships I fostered and put time into. Being more conscious about the effort it takes TO cultivate something intentionally reminded me - on many occasions - that choices, or opportunities to do/connect weren’t always worth the time I had readily available to me. Cultivate as a concept also showed up for me as I designed how life would look in 2023.
Choosing ease as my compelling and controlling feeling was an incredible decision as I navigated things like two cross-country moves (moving our middle kiddo to North Carolina for college, and moving my daughter, me and our animals to Florida), shifts and changes in what my work looks like, even in the way I show up on social media (deactivated my Facebook account, removed the Twitter app from my phone, and massively restricted who I follow on Instagram).
I embraced trusting myself and making decisions even if the logistics weren’t perfect. I practiced the art of detaching myself from the opinions of others and the outcomes / reactions to my choices. I re-discovered that I am wholly capable of big things. I also remembered that I am also wholly worthy and deserving of more support and care from my circle of humans.
2022 also brought the cultivation of major intention around my body, with the hardware in my leg being removed in April and a successful lawsuit against the scooter company (default judgment granted, so now we chase the dollars). The number on the scale was the largest number I’ve had (even during pregnancies), married with the reality that I can now walk mostly pain-free brought incredible motivation. My sobriety journey continues (March 2023 is three years) and I’m exploring possible solutions for my replacement of a sugar addiction so I can kick that to the curb, as solidly as I have smoking and alcohol.
Launching #LeavingWell solidified my decision to transition back to 100% consulting. I started the process of tattooing my left arm with meaningful and purposeful art, images, and reminders, and in earnest, came back to my memoir writing.
Biggest Lesson of 2022: I feel most in control when I have autonomy over the way in which I work and have impact in my world. When I remember that I get to choose, and that I get to decide, I am most aligned. I scheduled support, I communicated needs and wishes, and I didn’t waver from those things. I also learned in the past year that I function at my best when I carve out 20 minutes for myself in the mornings - whether that’s for a walk or journaling, or just listening to music with a hot cup of coffee.
Biggest Surprise of 2022: Reconnecting with my body and the ability to move it again in ways that feel restorative. Being able to walk out of my door and have immediate safety on the street (both the terrain and absence of traffic), the friendly climate, and new places to explore brings me joy.
Biggest Risk in 2022: The decision to move our family from Omaha (especially since there is zero stability in my husband’s industry from the standpoint of geographic locations).
Most Important Decision in 2022: Stepping away. It’s the continuous lesson of my life. When and where to lean in to help launch, start, create. When to step out and open space for others to lead and improve, continue. During the year, I let go of and released the opinions of others, outsiders’ needs, family obligations, body shame, and external duties. I made way for a lighter body, routine and cadence around my mornings, and a writing practice.
Biggest Challenges of 2022: The (continuing) transition and assimilation to living in one household again (it had been nearly three years of two households for our family), and getting control of our finances. It was also an incredibly tough year due to the death of my mother-in-law, Judy (“Mimi”). Her death was sudden and tragic, and completely upended the stability that my Husb has felt from her, his entire life. I also am really sitting with the memories from Mimi, and how she imprinted on me the power of maternal strength.
“2022 was the year I invited IN the chaos, the upheaval, and the ramifications of choice - on purpose. It was a true cultivation of fresh opportunities, in setting fire to it all - so that clarity could come out of the ashes.”
“Retooling and replanting were the overarching themes from my year of cultivation, a reconfiguration of my entire life. Courage is a muscle. It is always mine to decide.”
*Many thanks to the YearCompass for the guided (free!) workbook for reflecting on the past year and dreaming about the year to come, as well as Susannah Conway’s Unravel Your Year workbook (also free!).
en·tel·e·chy
/ənˈteləkē/
Noun: PHILOSOPHY
the realization of potential.
vital principle that guides the development and functioning of an organism, system or organization - "such self-organization required a special biological force—entelechy"
the soul.
“The state of something that is fully realized; a vital agent or force directing gowth and life; actuality as opposed to potentiality ... when the soul is actualized in the body.”
Entelechy is my guiding principle for 2023, with courage as a supporting practice. My list of accomplishments, completed to-do lists, and opportunities for impact is long enough. I am squarely in the second half of my life (I’ll be 47 in June) assuming I have the good fortune to be an incredible elder on this earth. The desire to realize my potential is not about accolades, work product, or my resume. This intention for entelechy is inward-facing, and quite personal.
I am looking forward to drawing energy from my habits and practices (sleep, nap, rest, reading, fresh air) all to a point of great excess. I want to see what my personal capacity and ability to hold ease, kindness, and joy looks like when I prioritize my own well-being.
I will sit with – and sit in – my reactions and responses, and notice my bravery and courage when my values are challenged. I will say yes in 2023 only after I’ve slept on it, and will always remind myself to take a hot minute before responding.
What I will say yes to this year: supporting impactful humans in their work - in spurts and sprints, opportunities to bolster and bookend my obsession for affordable housing with contracts and consulting, and moments to solidify the organization of our finances.
What I will say no to this year: work that is not aligned with my values, new board or committee service, new financial debt.
Ways I’ll show up for myself this year: less clothes in my closet, more plants; more walking and weightlifting, more pool time with sun on my face, less mindless food consumption; more acupuncture and massage; more travel.
It's the smoke, it's the flame
It's the ash and it's the rain
It's the burn and wash away
It's the change and it's the same
All is well
All is wеll
Time will tell and I will know
All is well in my soul
All Is Well, Avi Kaplan and Joy Williams (from my 2023 playlist)
