Change and small impact
Impact is rarely just about one change-based action.
Recently, I realized I was feeling terrible more days than not. I was grumpy, achy, sleep-deprived, and consuming too much sugar. During a week-long trip to DC I noticed myself slipping into habits of drinking coffee late into the afternoon, and then wondering why I couldn’t sleep at night, as I scrolled endlessly on my phone. Evenings were anxiety-filled and mornings were groggy, grumpy, and achy, and I quickly fell into a pattern of playing catch-up, from my own actions.
I made the decision to (1) not consume caffeine after 10am, and (2) install downtime / app restrictions on my phone (namely, to block all social media from 8:30pm to 8:30am). After two weeks of sticking to those two practices, I declared myself such a smart human. I have been getting an average of 8 hours of sleep every night, my mornings are more productive, and as a bonus, my screen time is significantly reduced.
Look at me, I thought! I can do hard things. I applauded myself for undergoing the necessary reflection to understand where change was needed. I assessed my situation to make strong decisions about interjecting change. I can now enjoy my coffee in the morning, but not drag out my caffeine consumption into the rest of the day. Even more impressive, I told myself, I don’t need social media. Look. At. Me.
In the between moments however, of those two actions, are a chain of other decisions that equally contributed to (if not more!) my current feeling of satisfaction. In the midst of establishing habit and practice around those two actions are a series of other seemingly small imprints that help to bolster the bigger choices. I rearranged our primary bedroom and moved the bed to a location that has better flow from the a/c vent. I programmed our thermostat to automatically lower the temperature at bedtime, and restore it to a normal daytime temperature at 7am. I ordered a new stash of caffeine-free tea from Artemis. I mixed a bag of decaf coffee beans with my full-strength beans for mornings and switched to decaf cappucinos when my daughter and I check out new coffee shops in the afternoons. I also started leaving my laptop in my in-home office, and we’ve been shutting down the house about an hour earlier than previously. When my social media apps ‘unlock’ for the day, I spend less time scrolling because I haven’t fed the algorithm the night before when I needed to be sleeping.
“The success, the sustaining of the desired change making, comes in the midst of small, nuanced moments.”
Change making is never simply about one big proclamation, and rarely about one big action. It often starts that way, with an announcement, a broadcasted decision, a line in the sand. But the success, the sustaining of the desired change making comes in midst of small, nuanced moments. Tweaking schedules every so slightly, saying “No” as a complete sentence, turning off your phone ringer. Ending meetings at the 45 minute mark to give a buffer for everyone, slowing down to actually listen to each other, normalizing hard topics in conversations by pausing to ask how the topic is landing for folks.
In my Leaving Well work with clients, the pinnacle is often the leaving. The big moment is the notice given, the resignation, the necessary ending. The true change and ripple, however, comes from the small moments of intention woven through the weeks and months leading up to the big statement, and the tiny nuanced actions steps that happen in the weeks and months following the big announcement.
During our work of revisiting personal values (or organizational values), reviewing job descriptions and resumes, and desired knowledge transfer in the midst of transition, imprints of legacy and true impact start to rise and bubble to the top. Many (individual leader) clients tell me that they feel somewhat unimpressed by the way they feel on the day their transition news becomes public, and in the weeks leading up to their last day. The small, nuanced moments they’ve prioritized in their own processing around their decision, and the elevated opportunities to embed leaving well practices into the organization, feel less pronounced and salient, and instead more resonant and subtle.
This is the work, I offer. The effort to thoughtfully, intentionally, and purposefully design the way we leave in order to impart lasting change (whether for ourselves personally, or for the role, organization, or project we are leaving) and impact.
We can indeed do hard things. We can also commit to imprinting (and then noticing!) the small things that add up to meaningful and lasting change.